Yesterday ate quite abit of bread, then this morning got this blastard stomachache to company me for math test. Lol.
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Anyway today's focus isn't about bread, its about the my study life for this year.
Something is wrong man, why do i feel so freaking tired everyday.
I can't seem to concentrate during lectures or whatsoever. Bad sign, but glad i notice it quick enough thanks to getting Aos for nearly everytest i've taken.
Problems i've identified..
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Sleep too late, 11pm-12am.
Wake up late. 6.45am then open my eyes. 7.20 have to rush down to catch the bus.
Unable to follow lectures cause never read notes b4 hand.
Then feel so stress in school don't enjoy it anymore, cannot relax, cannot laugh.
No energy or no motivation to study during the weekdays.
Homework all stuffed till sunday. Then do till very late not enuff sleep. Next day no mood for anything.
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大问题 O___O lo !
How i intend to solve it once and for all.
1)Sleep at 10 everyday. A must.
2)Wake up at 6am. << Ultra must.
3)Leave home at 7.15am, so that i dun feel rushed at all.
4)Lecture notes must be read before hand. Never done it before, will try now.
5)Weekdays, every weekday to do at least 5 tutorial questions. << If nt something Super Dooper Mega Ultra bad will happen to me.
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No matter how hard it is for me to follow these self imposed instructions, i WILL DO IT, SWEAR UPON MY GAMES COLLECTION
For this is my way of ninja. . Yea ? whatever.
^_____________________^
我读书的决心 . . .引爆吧!!
Another looong week. So tired tired now, don't feel like doing anything rite now. .
Oh yea, my 2 year old Harddisk showed signs of faillure le. Dam thing doesn't wanna power up, i have to do the "Hardisk in freezer" trick to kick some life into it. Probably have to buy a new HDD sooon.
Would rather save my $$ for the new samsung mp3 player, but oh well.
Talk to my friends about the jobs that i wanna do when i grow up. Probably an IT consultant or anything IT related. I jus prefer the IT stuff over sciences. Period.
Then i wonder why i studied science in the first place. I clearly remember the days which i actually like science, cos it was interesting. It jus seems to have vanished after i reach secondary school. Not sure why..
I went with the flow i guess.
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Yea, now is not the time to regret the decision i made before << i know that.
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Anyway, after my o-levels, i wanted to register for poly, to an IT related course. Met with resistance,(like an ideal volt meter), bla bla poly for punks and so on.
F and M didn't like the idea of me joining a poly too.
So i went to a jc.
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The teachers are nice, the school's management are supar, nasty timetables..
I merely study for the sake of doing it, didn't like it at all.
Ironically, i took up the science combi again. Why ? cause i thought i might have alittle adv studying related subs again.
Phy,math,chem are the 3 subs that i scored lowest for my o-levels. (did i phrase it correctly ? too tired to bother .__." )
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Still gonna do what i can for those 3 subs though, i'm not gonna waste my time by failing ;/
Hmm, i was top 5% from p3 to sec2. Sec 4 from 33 pointer to 13 pointer.
I can't be stupid what, lol.
lazyy.. . must kick it. I bet noone's as addicted to being lazy, as me.
^___^"
Always hated the status quo thing with people i meet. You talk more in class, laugh with enough decibels to make urself heard everywhere
and so. . I should respect you ? Kiss my @ss
A reenacted scenerio.
Me "Want a sweet ?"
Bastard "Thats a very retarded question"
Reluctantly hands over a sweet.
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CVD just ended, something that would have made me cherry has instead, made my heart ache.
I wouldn't have care about such stuff till some bastard tells me that i didn't do a sh1t.
A little breakdown of events.
Day before CVD, stayed in school till 7pm to do posters. Had to follow the "girl"'s bidding and changed pictures to her idol.
Sourced for so many dam* pics till my eyes popped. Having a fever didn't made me feel any better.
Then went around to stick my (fantasy/korean/anime) posters all around the school.
Agreed to help them carry the 100+ cups from my home to our stall.
During CVD
I called. .
My tuition teacher,group of (pre-retained)JC1 friends, army dudes, friends to come over to our stall to buy our stuff under my
"plead". Why did i said plead ? cos. . yea, i dun feel cool right now.
With a mass of people mendin the stall, i went around selling tickets. Managed to sell them, then returned back to the stall and act
as a "lowly" waiter. (Tried to smile and answered people's order for our product)
I didn't went to help the button presser as there was like 4 people doing it already, so i "merely" went around and asked if they
were interested in our "snow ice"
Anyway, we managed to sell off all the bowls and the guys went off and started to count the no. of tickets.
I jus stood near a pillar and watched them.
Then the moment of my anguish came,
the bastard started to mention people who, to him, didn't help at all. I was mentioned, so blardy pissed i was. Come to think of it,
he was the one who wanted to dump this CVD idea altogether, still has the guts to say that i didn't help.
Then 2 girls joined in and says that i didn't help. I jus love this sarcastic comment
" Yea, he did "help" with his final fantasy stuff, and carrying the bowls to school "
WTF ? Are they immature or what ? Is there a need to state out the things i do to prove that i did something ? Does standing at the stall mashing buttons
makes one ego rise and makes them a hard worker ? Oh yea, maybe sitting at the stall playing card games is helping.
I'm was at a loss of words, nearly wanted to wack the wall hard. I may not be a forerunner, but i'm pretty darn sure i'm no slacker.
It pains me to hear such comment.
I left after hearing it.
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So while i was in the Mrt, i messaged 2 of them, whom i consider friends with. Telling them this.
"In case you haven notice, i've been going around passing pamphlets and asking people to buy or visit our stall. Am i not helping ?
Please spare a thought for someone who has fever(ear infection somemore) and still tries to do something.
But, then again, since its what you think so, i guess i should apologise for not helping to a degree thats up to your satisfaction.
Will try harder.
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The 1st girl replied that she was sorry, 2nd one too. I don't really blamed them, i think. But they have to know that what they said
really affected me. They seemed sincere enough, i said i was "sorry" too, for reasons unknown to me.
Couldn't even be bothered about the bastard who started this "he never help sh1t"
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Phew, all done. Feels good writing it out, the saying seems to be true. Never bottle ur anger up.
Thx for reading it all. Good night.
Phew, tough week man. Had to do work non stop for 3-4 days.
Heh heh, oddly, i feel pretty gd not doing the thing i usually do, cos no time to do it ;p
So much work can't even spare time to do it.
Lol, i actually feel better despite the "siao" workload. Perhaps not doing it is the way to go for me. d:
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Today finally manage to grasp abit on the concept for integration, been doing it since last week. Redo sia, hand pain,
but i know its for my own good. Its like training in game, the more u do it, the higher level/more experience you'll gain.
Ah, i see. . gaming is useful afterall =)
I'm prob the handful of people that has gained enlightenment through excessive gaming. << I'm proud to say that i ain't addicted to it anymore.
Oh yea, the math lecturer for today, Mr W/Sim, is he possesed or what ??? Suddenly so funny liao, struck 4D ?
I was either dreaming during his lectures last year, or he really changed into this nice guy le. Love his new teaching style,
beeen soooooooooo long since i had a productive math lecture. Too bad i couldn't get his "prize" for answering questions correctly.
Blastard 1/(a^+x^2) integration. . Can't remember its (1/a)tan^-1(x/a) + c. If not all his sweets/prize will belong to me.
Ah yes, it seems that my confidence level has started to rise abit lately, could it be that . . . . . not doing it is gd for me ?
Lol, hey friends, dun mail me asking what i meant by doing it, its. . a lose lose situation for me if i say haha.
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Quote Of the day.
Once you've come to a decision, follow through with it and give it your all
so you have no regrets. However... If you're undecided and unsure, stay that
way, and follow through with your indecision. Being caught in the middle is
the worst.
Ps: Birthday coming le, hehe. 17 Feb ^__^ !Gonna get a +1 stat to my age.
My classmates came to my house today !!
Lemme try to remember who came.
Madina, Siti, Wei Jie, Leonard, Jonathon, Pax, Li Shan, Hui Yee, Wanjing, Jasmine,
Zaw Lin.
Yea, thats about it. Lol, my brain's still working.
I was pretty apprehensive about them visiting my home, cos my home abit messy lo.
So instead of eating lunch with them, i Da bao back home and began "Operation House Cleaning" !!
Got home, the first thing i did was to take cups out and washed them real well, the pour some Sarsi in it. Left them in the fridge.
Next, i started to tidy the plates, didn't know i had that many plates till now lol.
After arranging them as best as i could, i proceeded to the living room and the tv room. Move the stuff in order bla bla bla.
Then the toilet, omfg %()*#
My sis, left the toilet in a big mess, well sort of. I can't imagine a girl doing this..
"Left used cotton tissues inside the toilet paper roll." << wtf haha.
Anyway, i moved the toiletries around and put them back to where they should be.
Finally my room, UGH, the King of mess i might add.
Newspapers, clothes lying everywhere.
I'm like "wtf rofl ()%*# got pwn by j00(rubbish) "
Never giving up, (melodramatic, but bleah i dun care), i cast the forbbiden magic
(Etherion) and poof, my room looks tidy enuff. Even a little stuffed puppy spawned on my table.
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So there they came, everything was prepared as best as i could le. Some hitch here and there, but i think we loved the chilli flavored bananna milkshake anyway. Never tasted one like it before. . Ever. Rofl.
A fine day i would say. Hurray =)
Why can't i relax in school's environment ..
My temp reaches 37.5++ in school, and i turn pinkish. UGH, sucks man.
My hair too, wth man. . They look so dead in school.
Maybe its like what the movie "The Last Samurai" said,
"You care about the people looking at you, care about the looks, care about the others perception of you, too many care"
Maybe its true ;/
Heh, so lemme try this from today onwards. I shall not care about what others think of me NO MORE !
Perhaps it is then, will i achieve the same relaxed state as i am at home.
Lesson In progress..
Art Of Relaxation.
Woot, been so long since i'd bought pen and pencils. 2 years i think.
Scary man, hard to imagine how the f* i'm able to survive school days just with pens that i've found lying on the floor. Ruler also, pencils too. . lOl omg, power to me.
Think its time to be not so lazy liao, time to buy them. Total amount spent, 110$.
Wth, man. . lol. Not rich yet i spent so much. Never mind, i know its worth it.
Hair Dryer for my hair 45$
Some pens(G2 black, Another black pen) , pencil box, foolscap papers, graph paper, erasers.
LOL, i still dunno how, in the name of Dwayna, i'd survive Jc without such stuff.
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Recently hor, dunno why feel quite lonely in school. Don't feel close to them perhaps ?
Maybe jus me never sleep enough, got mild case of high blood pressure ;/
Or maybe its them not treating me like a 18/19 year old ;|
Respect is obviously due man. If they continue(some only) treat me like crap, i'll give them the same attitude back. Why can't they treat everyone like at the same level, noone's higher then noone.
Man. . i sure miss being with my 110 buddies, hung loong, loyhan, chee how, hong sheng.
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